This was brought up in another thread, and rather than derail said thread with my story or necro an old one, I decided to post a new one. My first on this forum?
I agree with this sentiment wholeheartedly. I know it's in vogue now to "just say yes" to everything your players say, but there has to be a limit. My own example is from just a couple of years ago. A summary is at the end because this is going to be a long one.
My wife and I had just moved to a new (small) city for work. We didn't know anybody there, and we had to leave our gaming groups behind. This new town has no gaming store, and the nearest is an hour and a half away. To cut to the chase, we made friends with a coworker and her husband. Eventually, we found that they and some of their friends were interested in gaming. Once I told them that I was a GM, we were off and running.
After some discussion, I found that most of them were newbies. They only wanted to play D&D. I'd played more D&D than anything else but had strangely never DMed. Also, I'm not a big fan of D&D, but this was going to be a "gateway drug" game anyway. I was willing to give it a shot, but I didn't have the books. All I could find at the local bookstore was 4th edition. I picked up the Essentials line, as that was all I had played of 4E and was inexpensive.
That's when I found out that one of the players had 2E and only wanted to play that. I told them I had never even read a 2E book let alone played it. I could run 3E/Pathfinder or 4E, or I could run a game I actually wanted to. I was able to persuade them, but that wasn't the end of it.
The 2E guy couldn't make it to the sessions as he lived too far away, so we had to Skype him in. I didn't like this, but as long as I didn't have to play tech support I was willing to try it. Then I get the next suggestion from 2E guy, except it's more of a requirement. We can't play a game with any "dark" themes. It has to be "hopeful and lighthearted." I didn't know what he meant exactly, except that it sounded like I wasn't going to get to have any fun. About the only D&D settings I like are Dark Sun, Planescape, and Ravenloft. Before I could really parse this requirement, though, I got another one. The setting couldn't have gods.
That's right, no gods in a D&D setting. I tried to explain that in most published settings, the gods are kind of important. Oh, and clerics and paladins kinda sorta need them to be clerics and paladins. He tried to argue this with me.
I know that a cleric doesn't necessarily need to worship a god. Once, I played an aasimar cleric who essentially worshiped knowledge and thought the gods were aliens. That's a little different from reinterpreting the whole setting.
After talking to the guy for a while, I started to think that maybe part of this was related to religious hangups. Basically, I told him that he might not want to play in a game I GM.
The sad part was that this guy was probably the one most interested in playing. He'd always wanted to, had the books for years, and had never had the opportunity. I think that was the problem, though. He had been building the game in his mind for so long that he had all these preconceptions about how it should be. It's too bad he didn't understand that other people had to play the game with him, and that nobody was going to run one according to his specifications.
The game went on without him, and we had a lot of fun. Except for the fact that it was 4E.
TLDR: One guy in the group had to be skyped in, only wanted to play 2E D&D, didn't want anything "dark" in the game, and wanted to play in a setting without gods. Part of this might have been due to religious beliefs. I had to show him the proverbial door.
EDIT:
I forgot to mention that you should share your experiences with backseat GMs and how you handled them. Did you show them the door, compromise, or persuade them?
Quote:
Originally Posted by CRKrueger (Post 775044) When you get a jackass like that, you either run your game or let him run your game through blackmail. I know you are in the ass-end of nowhere and all, but you gotta nip that shit in the bud. Tell Mr. "I gotta have" to nut up and run his own game or go fuck himself and his sister's horse. Switching the game you want to run because one guy insists on defining your setting for you is handing him the keys, you may as well just put on the clown costume to give them a good show every weekend, because now you're the performing Screen Monkey. |
I agree with this sentiment wholeheartedly. I know it's in vogue now to "just say yes" to everything your players say, but there has to be a limit. My own example is from just a couple of years ago. A summary is at the end because this is going to be a long one.
My wife and I had just moved to a new (small) city for work. We didn't know anybody there, and we had to leave our gaming groups behind. This new town has no gaming store, and the nearest is an hour and a half away. To cut to the chase, we made friends with a coworker and her husband. Eventually, we found that they and some of their friends were interested in gaming. Once I told them that I was a GM, we were off and running.
After some discussion, I found that most of them were newbies. They only wanted to play D&D. I'd played more D&D than anything else but had strangely never DMed. Also, I'm not a big fan of D&D, but this was going to be a "gateway drug" game anyway. I was willing to give it a shot, but I didn't have the books. All I could find at the local bookstore was 4th edition. I picked up the Essentials line, as that was all I had played of 4E and was inexpensive.
That's when I found out that one of the players had 2E and only wanted to play that. I told them I had never even read a 2E book let alone played it. I could run 3E/Pathfinder or 4E, or I could run a game I actually wanted to. I was able to persuade them, but that wasn't the end of it.
The 2E guy couldn't make it to the sessions as he lived too far away, so we had to Skype him in. I didn't like this, but as long as I didn't have to play tech support I was willing to try it. Then I get the next suggestion from 2E guy, except it's more of a requirement. We can't play a game with any "dark" themes. It has to be "hopeful and lighthearted." I didn't know what he meant exactly, except that it sounded like I wasn't going to get to have any fun. About the only D&D settings I like are Dark Sun, Planescape, and Ravenloft. Before I could really parse this requirement, though, I got another one. The setting couldn't have gods.
That's right, no gods in a D&D setting. I tried to explain that in most published settings, the gods are kind of important. Oh, and clerics and paladins kinda sorta need them to be clerics and paladins. He tried to argue this with me.
I know that a cleric doesn't necessarily need to worship a god. Once, I played an aasimar cleric who essentially worshiped knowledge and thought the gods were aliens. That's a little different from reinterpreting the whole setting.
After talking to the guy for a while, I started to think that maybe part of this was related to religious hangups. Basically, I told him that he might not want to play in a game I GM.
The sad part was that this guy was probably the one most interested in playing. He'd always wanted to, had the books for years, and had never had the opportunity. I think that was the problem, though. He had been building the game in his mind for so long that he had all these preconceptions about how it should be. It's too bad he didn't understand that other people had to play the game with him, and that nobody was going to run one according to his specifications.
The game went on without him, and we had a lot of fun. Except for the fact that it was 4E.
TLDR: One guy in the group had to be skyped in, only wanted to play 2E D&D, didn't want anything "dark" in the game, and wanted to play in a setting without gods. Part of this might have been due to religious beliefs. I had to show him the proverbial door.
EDIT:
I forgot to mention that you should share your experiences with backseat GMs and how you handled them. Did you show them the door, compromise, or persuade them?
Backseat GMs
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